Some of my more motivated friends have planned how they will spend their time during the ‘stay home and stay safe’ coronavirus lockdown.
But while they perfect ‘fluent-Mandarin-in-12-weeks’ or knock ten bells out of granny’s vintage tea service doing a Joe Wicks morning workout, let’s spare a thought for all those who are floundering after being told to ‘stay home and find something to do – quietly’.
Kids who grew up in the 50s, 60s and 70s remain masters in the art of amusing ourselves (not that) because – in the absence of any money/social media/parental attention – we had to invent games or die of boredom. Our parents were dimly aware of their duty to feed, house and chastise their off-spring but they were not expected to amuse, educate or transport them to a zillion different street dance classes.
Naturally, the instructions ‘to be heard but not seen’ will not worry the boomers (the millennial’s dismissive name for baby boomers born between 1946-1964). Mock us if you will, but any self respecting boomer knows how make their own fun (still not that) without having to resort to an online course or a YouTube PT instructor.
So, just for a few hours, let’s park the ‘just how sore is my throat?’ anxiety and the overwhelming desire to explain Hegel’s philosophy to our five-year-olds while we re-discover the joy of ten of the vintage indoor/out-door games that every baby boomer will have known and loved.
NB: While every game/activity can be assembled from things you’ll find around your home, I’ve also included links to similar games available from private sellers on eBay. I know we’re only supposed to be ordering ‘essentials’ but it’s become a very fluid term of late. If a Twister mat is the only thing which will stop your kids from killing each other – I’m sure the neighbourhood busy bodies will forgive you, eventually.
Blindfold games (absolutely not that)
What you’ll need – a thick scarf or your actual blindfold (I am not here to judge you).
The history of blind man’s buff goes back to ancient times but, perhaps due to the sexual lockdown of the 1800s, the Victorians adored it. What’s not to love about a game which allowed its prim and proper participants to identify people by touch? (cue a furtive fondle and much squealing).
Sadly, unless you are the woman who lived in a shoe, this old fashioned parlour game will soon run out of steam in a 3/4 person household. Why not ask your arty family member (every home has one) to draw an ass and some tails and play ‘Pin the tail on the donkey’? I’m not going to explain the rules of play; that’s the glory of vintage games (musical chairs, sleeping lions, statues) everything you need to know is in the title; no 400-page, 6pt font rule book required.
Variations; When you pop the blindfold on the most annoying member of your household (every home has one), stick some balloons on the donkey before they start.
Simon Says
Simon says touch your knees/Simon says wave your hands, Simon says hop like a frog. Stop!
It’s an easy game but great fun for younger children/drunk adults. Don’t forget to apply special COVID-19 2020 rules which mean you can’t touch your nose.
Don’t make it simple – even for young ones – but do make it silly. Flap your arms like a chicken, wiggle your bum, dance like Anton Du Beke etc. By the way, if you did any of those things you’re OUT. ‘I didn’t say Simon says’.
Variations; Channel your inner school ma’am and play strict Simon says. Throw in some Simon says which are hard like standing completely still on one leg and disqualify anyone wobbling, or point to your tummy and say ‘Simon says touch your arm’ then alternate quickly between two actions like a USA army commander; ‘Simon says squat, Simon says stand-up, Simon says squat, stand up’ and so on until everyone hates you.
Ludo
My head still hurts when I remember friends arriving at one of my dinner parties in the late 80s (M&S meat pie followed by their trifle) with a brand new edition of the board game ‘Risk’. It was the ultimate strategy game and involved such complex interactions, I had to give up as I had no idea what was going on. I seem to recall relations my friends were never the same again.
The only strategy game I’ve ever understood and enjoyed is Ludo and it’s no surprise to find this ludo-crously simple game has been popular since the 6th Century (Ludo is derived from the Indian game Pachisi).
If you have no Ludo board to hand – Google it and get the kids to draw a version. Once complete, the game involves getting all your counters to the finish point while taking out other people (land on an opponent’s counter and they go back to the start) along the way.
Variations; My world was complete when I got a Spear’s Games Coppit in my Christmas pillowcase in the late 60s. Just like Ludo but played with conical caps; the aim of this game was to capture opponent’s pieces. The winner was the person with the last un-captured hat on the board.
Skipping
I am not thinking ‘Rocky’-style gym skipping. That sort of foolish full-on exercise should be left for people with a boxing belt.
I am talking about long-rope skipping, the number one playground pastime in the 60s/70s which only required three participants (two to turn the rope, one to skip) and yet regularly attracted 40-plus kids waiting for their turn – geddit?.
You simply need a washing line, a long garden and nerves of steel. I can still recall standing at the end of the rope, head bobbing in synch with the rotations of the rope, waiting for the ‘right’ time to run in without getting lassoed and laughed at by the entire school.
Variations: You could sing a song while skipping, skip within two ropes (rather like being on the inside of an egg whisk), and you could even skip with multiple skippers – by which I mean other people and/or sea captains.
Marbles
I’m not sure how much completed homework I did, but like most 70s kids my school bag was always bulging with a mesh bag of marbles.
All you needed was the hole in the drain cover; the object of the game was to get your marbles in the hole, or drawn target, before your opponents and playing ‘for keeps’ meant you were allowed to pocket all the other marbles. That’s right, you could win your playmates toys; even the queenies, the steelies and the special shooters.
It was brutal. If marbles were to make a come-back today, it would be banned in schools by the end of first break.
Variations; With some lolly pop sticks, an old cardboard box and a glue gun and you can make yourself a marble labyrinth. Or, if this sounds too much like an episode of Blue Peter, just grab some old egg boxes and score each empty hole and throw your marbles into it.
But don’t play allow your off-spring to play keepsies. Forty-nine years on, I’m still not over the trauma of one particularly bad losing streak.
Balloon tennis
The bad news is you cannot celebrate your child’s birthday by inviting his or her friends to a party. The good news is you can re-purpose the party balloons for a riotous game of balloon tennis.
The internet suggest you can upgrade this game by making racquets by using paper plates on sticks but we boomers just used our hands to thwack the balloon to (at) our playmates. If you want to be a bit more Judy Murray about it (a poster girl for boomers – can you imagine Judy ever gets bored?), you play it over an obstacle like a washing line or sofa.
Variations; Honestly, my favourite childhood game with a balloon was simply ‘keepy uppy’ – chasing one balloon, or several, around the room in order to simply keep it/them in the air. But you can put the word balloon in front of most sports (except Formula One) and make it work.
NB: No need to post a link here, I am sure you can grab a bag of balloons without contravening any public order offences while doing your one shop of the week.
Chuck
No one can recall why our favourite holiday game – throwing a ball in the surf – became known as chuck but we know we’re in for a poor vacation if someone forgets the ‘holiday ball’ (like a normal ball but much harder).
If you’re playing ‘chuck’ indoors, spare the Ming vase and use rolled up socks. The standard game is one of ‘lives’ as in drop the ball and you’ve lost a life. Drop it three times and you’re out. But you can potentially be excused if the throw is deemed poor or malicious (thrown to maim).
Variations; Endless. From dodgeball to throwing balls at a target or through a hoop or into a bucket. It’s an all-round winner as ‘chuck’ promotes health, improves motor skills and sharpens hand-eye co-ordination. But a word to the wise; in these tense times playing ‘chuck’ with a cricket ball in the vicinity of a neighbour’s greenhouse is a very bad idea.
NB; Again, I’m not going to link to any balls for sale. If you haven’t got any balls in the house, there’s really no chance you’re going to be reading an article about having fun.
Vintage sport’s day and other garden games
We all know what happened to sport’s day when the boomers started to retire from teaching. Overnight it went from a celebration of athletic prowess to a collaborative happy-clappy ‘celebration of team-work’ which held no interest and lasted a week.
But trying to hide the fact that some people’s kids are just more sporty than yours has meant we have frozen out the competitive corkers that all kids loved. To keep the ‘everyone’s a winner’ lot happy, let’s ditch the sprint to the finish element of school sport’s day. Let’s face it, most people will not have the energy or the garden length to support these kinds of antics. We’ll focus instead on the ‘fun’ bits like the three legged race, egg and spoon and – my personal fave – the sack race.
Variations; I know eggs are scarcer than unicorns these days so let’s hear it for the potato and spoon race around an obstacle course. Get some chairs out so you can slalom around them, add some boxes to hop over and a rope to limbo under. To make it a bit more cruel, insist that everyone who drops their spud has to return to the start. There will be hours of fun, and bruising, guaranteed.
Other top garden games include Swingball, boules, quoits, giant Jengas etc, badminton, tag, hide and seek, Twister and mud slides (before destroying the garden; always seek parental permission).
Pub games
Darts, cards and dominoes seemed to fall from grace at around the same time as smoking was banned in pubs. Funny that.
My granddad – or Pop as we called him – was my Mr Miyagi when it came to teaching me the basics of card games. He always played to win and so – while I don’t have many card games to my name – I am practically unbeatable when it comes to rummy and I can shuffle like a magician.
But everyone has a pack of cards and there are some silly card games which children will love – cheat, snap, trumps – and you only have to add some beer, wine and crisp to rope the adults in as well.
As for darts…has there ever been a finer game invented? The rules of the game are simple. Each player starts on 501 and takes it in turns to get to zero which means it’s a perfect substitute for your kid’s maths ‘homework’.
Variations; If playing darts with people of mixed abilities; try round the clock (1-20) and insist on ending on the bull’s eye as this normally allows the less competent players to catch up with the pub champ. If you are playing with your families equivalent of Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor, handicap them by insisting they hit trebles or doubles, or both, on each number.
Campfire games
In order to play some campfire games, you first have to build a tent or den in the garden or under the kitchen table (all boomers will recall spending hours under chairs draped with bedsheets).
Then you have to assemble some drinks and snacks – and maybe some sleeping bags. If you are in the garden you have to light a fire. There really is no need to go all Bear Grylls about this as a bbq, chiminea or outdoor candle will do (although try not to annoy the neighbours by starting a bonfire on a windy day). Once all this hard work , the games can begin.
Games suitable for campfires include;- 20 questions (someone famous or a character known to all), charades, word association, truth or dare, I went to market (remember that old chestnut? You go through the alphabet saying I went to market to buy some ‘a’pples and just keep adding items like bananas, cherries, damsons etc until people’s brains fry).
Variations; If all else fails, everyone loves a version of ‘name that tune’ which can be either be hummed (even more fun with a Kazoo), gargled or played on actual instruments if you have some show-off musicians in the family.
Important rules of all the games It has come to my attention that some people have been flouting the advice of the Government medics and have been taking the instruction to ‘exercise daily’ as an excuse to embark on a day trip to Dovedale or Tenby with 25 of their mates and a picnic. All of these games and activities will only remain good, clean HEALTHY fun if you play them indoors (or in your own garden), with members of your own household.
Lecture over…for goodness sake forget self improvement, go and have some much-needed play-time.
