My dad laughed when I told him I’d been on a diet since Easter and had only lost 9Ibs. Yes, I know it’s the sort of weight most people can lose after an energetic game of tennis or a bout of stomach flu but I am proud because I’ve dropped a dress size.
Well, when I say whole dress size, I’ve dropped half a dress size. From a 16 to a 15… but only if I don’t breathe out. With a beach holiday to Greece on the horizon and no hope of reaching my goal (to slip into a size 14 without breaking three ribs) I decided it would be ludicrous to spend good money on new clothes which – at the painfully slow rate I am going – will be too large for me in three years time.
To be honest, I didn’t even want to pay supermarket or Primark prices. I wanted to pack a suitcase with the sort of gorgeously chic clothing that would allow me to swish around a luxury hotel and yet for the whole lot to cost less than the zip on a Stella McCartney romper suit. In short, everything would have to come from on-line auction site Ebay.
As I write this article both my holiday and Ebay buying frenzy are history. I am only reliving my week of online madness so I can pass on some important rules to ensure you get fabulous finds and avoid costly fails.
Listen very carefully:
- Do not even attempt to shop on Ebay if you’ve had two large glasses of Chianti. Remember, the person selling the acid yellow mini bodycon dress realised she made a terrible mistake; don’t let her pass it on to you even if it has a £3.95 starting price.
- Be honest about your size. It’s not like the department store when you can tell yourself you are a ‘6’ all day long and then quietly get the assistant to go back for something a little roomier (size 14). This item is non-returnable. Yes, you can re-sell sizing mistakes but chances are – see below – you’ll lose money.
- Set an upper-limit budget. It’s an auction, don’t get auction fever and end up just having to win at all costs. You may do an Andy Murray fist pump when you pay £50 too much for a pair of Sainsbury’s stretch jeggings but – hopefuly unlike like Murray – the on-top-of-the-world feeling might be short-lived. On this point…
- Google the original price. I was often horrified to find that someone was selling a secondhand item for about the same or MORE than the original price once you factored in postage.
- I repeat – FACTOR in postage. I slipped up many times. Sellers often bump up postage because they don’t have to pay a percentage to Ebay. You find yourself paying £9.50 (an actual item on Ebay today) for a Karen Millen dress which weighs less than a man-size tissue.
- Don’t bid on twenty things in one night expecting to get one or two. I did the same and ended up with ten items and naturally all of them were my least favourite things. Bid for things one-by-one and slowly. If you receive the first item and feel justifiably pleased it may give you the confidence to continue. But if it’s a massive fail, you can get yourself off to Peacocks without having wasted precious money, time and Chianti.
La Vie – French for ‘Huh?’
Ebay purchase 1: Red cotton by La Vie (not heard of them? Me neither) sun dress
Cost: £2.49 plus £3 postage
What was I thinking? That this dress was easy to wear, wash and looked a little vintage.
Fabulous? Eh, not exactly fabulous but very cool; in a “it lets air gets to your pits” way and not “down with the kids”.
Fail: Sticky zip syndrome. I had to get help to zip me in and out of it and it was a little tight across the chest.
Would you buy it without drinking Chianti first? No, I was thinking vintage chic but it looked handmade… from a 1940s tablecloth.
Ebay purchase two: F&F (Florence and Fred) black and white stripe dress
Cost: £3.99, £3.20 postage
What was I thinking? Again, I was thinking about the heat and this would be an incredibly easy to pop over a swimming costume and that, as it is pre-wrinkled fabric, it wouldn’t matter if it got wrinkled.
Fabulous? Well, I wasn’t transformed into Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday but it did what it said on the label; namely, it fitted nicely over a size 15/16 frame. That’s probably cause it was size 18.
Fail: Yes by golly. The label on the dress revealed it to have cost £4 originally. So that’s a £3.19 overspend for a second-hand dress.
Would you buy it without drinking Chianti first? Not without checking the Tesco clothing line at my local store which is only 4 miles away. It also hangs a bit loose and could do with a cost-escalating belt.
Ebay purchase three: Brand new Simply Be paisley print swimming costume
Cost: £16, £3.80 postage
What was I thinking? That it is a good brand, a nice print and I liked the little frou frou embellishment over the bust. As anyone who knows me can attest; I need a little help attracting attention to my bust.
Fabulous? Yes, it will look great on someone who doesn’t have giant watermelons for breasts.
Fail: Big fail. It didn’t fit for one. Way too tight. It’s a clothing brand made for slightly larger ladies so this was not only a fail – it was a swift kick in the self-esteem. When I finally came out of counselling, all I could really do was to resell the costume and made a £4 loss without even wearing the dratted thing… and I had to drive 8 miles to post it. I hope the ‘lucky’ buyer enjoys more success, I really do.
Would you buy it without drinking Chianti first? No, the one thing that annoys me about plus-size swimming costumes is that they always pad the bra area. WHY? You wouldn’t catch me strapping foam panels to my bum and belly so why do manufacturers add superfluous padding to breast areas? I have my own flesh thank you very much. Furthermore, I eventually looked up the original price of the item to find it only cost £24 new. That’s with postage and FREE return in the ‘unlikely’ event it didn’t fit. Yes, after buying that swimsuit; I do need to drown my sorrows…
Ebay purchase four: New Look white dress (lined)
Cost: £6.50, £2.80 postage
What was I thinking? No, I am not getting married on the beach but I had seen an Instagram beauty – those perfect figure, home, life people – in something very similar.
Fabulous? Do you know, I have to say yes. It looked good and although the lining was a bit more Great Yarmouth than Greece (it was way too thick for the Med), I’d confidently say it was the nicest dress of the lot.
Fail: Yellow stains – hopefully sun cream and not sweat – on the back of the dress and the straps.
Would you buy it without drinking Chianti first? Yes, on reflection it’s a lovely dress. Although I did point out its flaws to the original seller who suggested I send it back. Now here’s the rub, it would cost £2.80 to send it back and I wouldn’t get my postage back for the original purchase. So I’d be £5.60 down and no dress. No deal.
Ebay purchase five: White Company maxi dress
Cost: £11.13, £3.40 postage
What was I thinking? It was a White Company dress – need I explain more? It’s current stock and cost £75 on the website. This is where Ebay comes into its own. Women with far more disposable income than me deciding they are bored with this season’s summer dress before the season is over.
Fabulous? It was a White Company dress – need I say more?
Fail: Oh dear, here’s my tale of absolute woe. My son Charlie turned up three days before our holiday with 15 bags of washing. I had no time to take up the hem of my White Company beauty so I bought some Wonderweb instant hem. It’s not the fault of the web – it’s a good product when it’s not in the hands of the criminally insane – but I made a hash of the hem and decided to fold it up again – and again – and again. At this point I realised it was bunched, heavy and not at all straight so I removed the webbing. Or should I say, I tried. I washed it a zillion times and scraped at it with everything and even dabbed it with nail varnish remover. The bottom half of my dress still looks like it’s been painted. It did not come on holiday with me as I’ve ruined the only bargain I have ever bought.
Would you buy it without drinking Chianti first? Yes, I only wish I could travel back in time to buy it all over again.
Ebay purchase six: New red & white swimming costume.
Cost: £6.20, £2.90 postage
What was I thinking? Sorry, your hard-won slimmer silhouette will look hideous in your old swimming costumes. Even at just 9lbs down, mine looked like they’d been pre-stretched on a bullock.
Fabulous? Yes, as I say, I like vintage looking items and this was very Betty Boo.
Fail: Yes, terribly cheap material. Within a few wears the bum went all baggy (the swimsuit, not mine) and the colour ran when it was washed in the hotel sink. However, there is a happy ending. After complaining with the original seller – I received a full refund. Postage et al and – as the for swimsuit – was told I might as well ‘keep it’.
Would you buy it without drinking Chianti first? No. I ignored good sense and bought something with no brand at all. It’s never good sign is it?
Ebay purchase seven: New Look black cotton dress.
Cost: £4.99, £2 postage
What was I thinking? That black is very slimming and it looks good against a tan.
Fabulous? Who knows, it doesn’t fit. It’s a 16 but not exactly generous and – in spite of my massive weight loss – I cannot get in it even with a shoehorn.
Fail: Yes, see above. It also had a bit of 1950s hour-glass thing that doesn’t suit someone built like a grandfather clock. I do hope it grabs someone else though as it’s flying straight back onto Ebay.
Would you buy it without drinking Chianti? Yes, I am still on the look out for a perfect black summer dress which will be music to the ears of Ebayers trying to offload their stained, bobbly cast-offs.
Ebay purchase eight: Boden cardie
Cost: £4.50, £5.50 postage
What was I thinking? That it would be a good thing to have on holiday on those chilly summer nights.
Fabulous? Not really. I was thinking yummy mummy but it’s the colour of a Werther’s Original and looks like the sort of cardie an extremely old person would wear to store their hankies.
Fail: Yes, to add insult to injury the postage was expensive, the cardie bobbly (worthy of charity shop only) and it arrived too late for my holiday.
Would you buy it without drinking Chianti? No, I was in Greece for goodness sake. It was red hot; even at night.
Ebay purchase nine: Elasticated red dress
Cost: £4.20, £3.40 postage
What was I thinking? I wasn’t – I just put in a bid for this dress, not really bothered if I won the auction or not. 
Naturally, with the stakes that low, I won.
Fabulous? My husband commented on this one. He liked it. He then ruined it all by saying “Is it old? I remember you had something like that in the 80s.” I pretended this was deliberate and that I was going for the vintage look. As for the elasticated bandeau top, fashion pundits will tell you to avoid that style if you have any chest at all. Oops.
Fail: No, I stand by this one. Even though a lady much older than me also had this dress. That’s something you don’t expect when you buy old, secondhand clothes on Ebay – someone turning up in the exact same dress.
Would you buy it without drinking Chianti? Do you know, I still love this dress. It’s light and easy to wear and perfect for the beach and yet sassy enough to be dressed up for the beach bar.
Ebay purchase ten: M&S red swim suit
Cost: £12.06, £3.99 postage
What was I thinking? By now, I had only one serviceable swimsuit for a fortnight in Greece. A lot was riding on this.
Fabulous? Yes, at times M&S can still do quality.
Fail: It arrived a week after the start of my holiday.
Would you buy it without drinking Chianti? Without a shadow of a doubt, this cossie was the best purchase of the lot. It’s stunning in real life and I don’t care how much it cost originally. I just can’t wait unit my September holiday to show it off.
Conclusion
What do you think? Out of ten purchases, only three were worth the time and money. It’s an experiment I will not be repeating. Should you do any summer holiday clothes buying on Ebay? Well… yes, if you really drill the sellers of these second-hand clothes down for measurements and research how much it cost to begin with (see the F&F dress). However, at these prices it might just be worth a punt. If I hadn’t ruined my White Company dress purchase then my conclusion would have been very different. It was a bargain that would have wiped the face of all the other crazy fails.
Never mind. Lessons have been learned. I also think the frothy red dress and the white halter-neck will be summer staples. As for the red swimming costume – wowzer. And, with a fair wind, if I manage to lose my weight it will look even better.
The internet is awash with great tips on how to shop for fashion bargains on Ebay. Popsugar site features an insightful article on The Best Designer Brands to Shop for on Ebay. Just be wary of fakes. Good luck.
Featured image from Popsugar
